Verging

I am down to where all I can do is ponder the cozy life I had. My family, my home, my friends, mall, movie, coffee, beer and me time have all gone out of reach. I cannot even get myself time to rest.

If this one is indeed my road to success, I wish it be not lengthy enough to make me surrender. 

I just want to live my life like how normal people of my age do.

I understand that success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. That is how they made me perceived the whole picture of my career. That is how experienced people see it. I always have to take it from the experts. I always have to trust them, let them steer my life.

What if I can do better by just taking another path with my own discretion? Would it give my life balance? Life is worth living if one can blunder and tell himself “It’s alright, I wanted this”. Waking up to a day where you take full control of your life.

I’m giving everything chance to make up. Let me gamble for a few more weeks and clear this avenue.

God please guide me J AMEN!

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Sorry

Today, 25 years ago, God created a world where treasures and happiness were buried and unseen. A world where I kept trying to escape from. A world I destroyed but keeps recovering. A world I left. A world so far. So far that I feel like I live in it only in my mind. All i wish now is to make that world better. Because when it gets better, i get better. When that world is beside me, no one connquers me. Every place seems like comfort zone. Don't let me down.  

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Rain rain

5:00 PM, rain poured. Zero visibility. We had to dismiss all staff and workers.

6:00 PM

Left with time, I spent thinking "where do i go now" , I decided to tire my self walking around Alabang Town Center. That's when I found myself typing this blog..while walking..and yes, I am using this escalator twice. (Now typing).. 

This is happening for 18 months.. Nowhere to go. Nothing to crave. Far from home. Oh, I remember back when i was a 1st grader. New school, new people..that kid cried. He did not want to be left by mama, but mama had to leave for work after bringing me to school. This is a core personality. I grew this old and yet I live with that ghost. 

I just bought dinner. El presidente of binondo. Hahaha. I just don't know what to vent. I just need someone to talk to. No drama. I need to make my days happier. This is gonna be 18 months and that's a big fraction of my whole life.

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Still starting

Being left out is the heaviest thing that pounds me, every single stagnant day. Waking up to a day where the rest have soared up in their chosen avenues of specialization while I struggle not to be late for my 8:00 AM work.  Some of them were able to start taking their master’s degrees a year ago and some were promoted. I know someone who has been successful enough starting out his construction firm.

                                                                                     

My two consolation prizes I enjoy today while trying to climb that great big hill of hope behind everyone;

First is the fact that my awareness about the things I miss, the things I wanted to achieve and the place where my soaring colleagues left me are clearly known. I am worried. I care. That is one good thing. I do not want this happening. That is the thin line between poor and underprivileged - awareness. I want to be well off. I’m still insatiable.

Second is what this career crisis has taught me. That starting is the hardest part of anything - of a thesis, of getting into books, of becoming fit, or planning an investment, renovating your room, writing a blog, of learning, of going better, of fulfilling your resolution or painting or how to build a house.

This is normal and yet I keep struggling.

Today, the first move I am motivated to do is set a dynamic comprehensive plan that will help me create a detailed activity schedule. One that will define my days.

Management skills, promotion, stocks, firms, and master’s degree are my fundamentals. I will be creating my master plan and will get this entry updated.  

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Revalida

Just for the record, I blogged my answers to our latest Revalida.

If yes: How you believe you will be able to contribute in that office's goals. Please also indicate any new strengths and aptitudes you discovered in yourself while in that office.

If no: Why?

SCM. This is a no because I'm afraid I may have to give up my enthusiasm for Science and Construction if I join this group. Procurement strategies and synchronizing of supplies were mostly the things I learned here. It will be a very different avenue for me and I may lack enough interest to be a big contribution to the group.

TCSG. Although TCSG applies many Engineering principles in its work flow, I find their tasks and outputs very hypothetical. Strategies being developed here are mostly assumptive. I may not be able to give much contribution in having their goals achieved because I'll be seeking a different environment, one that involves actual risk and resistance like QC and FOG. No.

PCG. Yes, this might be one of my possible deployment office. A year ago, I was certified by the Stanford It Learning for completing the course “PRIMAVERA 6.0 Enterprise for Project Management and Planning” at their school. This skill of mine might serve the group in their need of competitive planning engineers.

When we were in PCG, we were with the other PCG trainees (non mts). They were ahead of us in terms of training modules and exercises because they started earlier. I just found mysef getting eagerly excited doing the exercises the other trainees were doing. In fact I started doing exercises ahead of other MT's. What really caught my interest was the PIPE RACK planning and manpower balance. I just enjoyed doing PCG works. I may have a natural aptitude for PCG but I'm still considering other groups like QC and FOG.

SAFETY Our stay here was focused on making a management review and statistical analysis of our company's accidents and casualties. My interest in this kind of work has gone long ago since I started getting deeply involved in sciences and engineering. This is a very important group though. They're the ones assuring one very important aspect in construction; SAFETY. (safety, production and quality)

QC Yes. Main reason why: 50% documentation and office, 50% site. My ability to easily understand plans and specifications is one big help to the attainment of their goals. There was even one time when I stood for our company against the client's QC engineers because they misunderstood the plans and demanded for a rework. Good thing I studied the plan before the inspection. We could have thrown large amount of money. I also discovered the authoritarian side of me which I can use for properly managing a QC group and policing the aggressive operation to avoid variance between plans and construction.

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Molar

2 years ago, I suffered a life changing pain caused by gum impaction against a molar tooth. I needed to undergo a tooth extraction but the nearly happening board exam wouldn't allow me. I was brought under gum laceration instead. The doctors had to remove the impacted gums and postpone the tooth extraction. The operation lasted for 2 hours. I was healed in two weeks. My life got back to normal. I remember not being able to eat nor open my mouth, waking up in the middle of the nights praying to end the pain. That wasn't nice. It lasted 2 years. 2 years celebrating my life free from pain. Not until last saturday. It's painful agaiiiin. I don't know what to do. The inflammation must stop before the molars get extracted. Next week will be the day I'm getting deployed at site somewhere in Alabang.. That'll be no dead time. I really don't know what to do. I gotta get these two extracted. Lord help me :'( Last thing I heard, it takes a month of healing after the extraction.. Sometimes I'm not so lucky.....

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Career Review, EEI

I started working at EEI Corporation 8 months ago. So far, time has been fairly distributed to learning and stand by time.  It isn't perfect.

I was hired together with my colleagues as Management Trainee. We were offered a salary grade 35% higher than ordinary applicants’. As freshmen in the battlefield, we all had money-driven minds so we bit the good offer. We got this at the cost of being bonded  for 3 years.

Salary was not the only thing I essentially considered in choosing EEI; I also listened to a lot of testimonials from veteran engineers saying the company is the best training ground for starters.

What could I have asked more? An amalgamation of money and knowledge was the best that other companies’ cannot provide.

When we had our General Orientation Program to jump start our life with EEI, I learned that the company lacks the proper Succession Planning. A soon to be voids will be available once the fillers retire.

As one of the “possible fillers” which the company keeps inculcating in us, it leaves me the obligation to set passion for excellence as one of my core values. The need to show the company the kind of employees it deserves must be spearheadedly provided by us.

The program we entered has never been as easy as it seems.Expectations have to be met. A room filled with criticism is available for failures. We can’t be regular engineers. We are so much responsible.

Our first department, the Marketing Department, gave us the skill to present a proper company presentation. We had to know the past of our company, the struggles it went through before it became one of the most successful construction companies. We started learning to love and become the company because as they said, the key to successfully winning a building contract is to represent your company with full of confidence and knowledge by heart and mind.

We studied our history and services. We were taught how to price the construction of a certain structure. Marketing procedures from identifying prospected clients, presenting the company profile, calculating mark ups, agreed budget, engineering budget, bonds and all that until notice to proceed, were simulated in 1 ½ months.

The next department, the QA/QC department showed us all the company procedures. Trainers were assigned to each of us. We were with them in conducting their quarterly audit. We learned how essential this department is in the pursuit of attaining the excellent quality of our company and the services it offers. Deviations from the standard procedures must be addressed and be kept back on track.

Third, the Engineering department where I gave a big contribution in the form of structural designs; Maibarara Geothermal Plant pumphouse, railings and connections designs. They also taught me these; Engineering procedures, take off, estimating, costing, proper coordination with sub-cons and suppliers’ product reviews :D

Fourth is the Supply Chain Management department where we discovered a new avenue in civil engineering. We learned about traditional procurement and the new styles being practiced today. We learned also that this department together with their fast cycle of procedures is essential for attainment of good time management in construction. The following were the things that consumed our 1 month:

Procurement, documentation (PO, POCC, JPR),agreements for sub contracted works, quotations, strategic procurement, tactics,reaching a fair compromise through win-win negotiation, SCM cost savings concept,business growth through SCM, tactical procurement, supplier performance evaluation, supply risk management, contract management, market study, spend analysis, and steel production flow and a lot more.

Fifth, the TCSG (Technical Craft Support Group): Erection and dismantling of Scaffoldings, Surveying, actual layout using total station up to transfer of data, rigging signals, welding,cutting steel using oxyacetylene, understanding MEPF drawings, civil works,building works, mechanical works, piping works, electrical works, WBS of powerplant construction, shut down works, cooling tower WBS, real time kinematics,minimum plumbing requirements and more.

6^th, the Safety department: Department order no. 13, safety induction training course,appreciation course on ISO 14001:2004 standard, general and occupational environmental protection, management review presentation of construction hazards,accident statistics and permits and more.

As of now, we are staying attaining room 1 and about to go to PCG (Production Control Group) tomorrow. I will have the chance to review Primavera. 

I still have 8 departments left plus the last two months allocated for our Group Project and Individual Assessment/ Recognition. 

We also underwent the 2-day-communication skill competency program prepared by our manager, Ma’am Nona. We were given chance to present to the EEI top management key personnel like the EVP,SVP,VP,AVP and Managers.

So far, I can say that my stay in EEI has been full of laughter because I’m with my group who all have and show great talents and I know I'm with the company that has the best plan for me. I love EEI. Thanks God I'm here :)

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How to take care of your car properly

I started driving when I was in grade 6. That was almost 10 years ago (owned my car just last year) and I can say that it got me skilled enough to triumph my everyday race-- rush hour. 

Every day, I have to overtake at least 30 cars, near miss people and risk my life to win the luxury of not being late + Unreduced salary. 

My lengthy time driving experience and everyday battles have developed me to become a safe driver. That’s the best skill to have to satisfactorily safe guard yourself and your car against minor scratches to total wreckage and even death.

Perks are also granted. Undeniably you get more attractive sliding down those tinted windows asking that hot chic for directions. You get to escape the hassle of riding jam packed PUV’S.  You obviously experience more places. 

The longer you drive, the more you acquire proper driving skills and smart care for your car. I got some basic tips here, well, uniquely formulated.

• Don’t wash your car with detergent soap. That’s harsh and leaves stains. Use shampoo.

• Car wash means drying up. Don’t leave the car wet.

• Avoid jam packing your car with people. Car consumes more gas when loaded.

• Avoid free parking. You may save up but I bet the risk of your car getting scratches or stolen will bother you all day.

• Lock all the doors once all the passengers get in. We got “bukas pinto gang”  in the Philippines.

• Don’t let the gas meter reach zero before you gas up. 

• Don’t risk driving through small passages if you are not sure you can.  

• Avoid driving around squatters’ area.

• Avoid unpaved roads.

• Avoid high acceleration and deceleration. Force is a product of mass and acceleration. Greater mass + higher acceleration equals greater force. Force needs gas. 

• Don’t have sex inside. Get a room. 

• Don’t let your chic drive your car just for the sake of pogi points.

• Love your car more than yourself. You sometimes risk yourself getting into fights when you know you’re right; you can’t do that to your car. Do defensive driving. 

• It is okay to look panicky for your car when you are in doubt of the place. That’s normal.

• Be responsible.

Having car is not just having one. It involves relationship, maintenance and experience. Hehehe!

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Father stop

Being a father is never an easy thing. Imagine having 5 people on your shoulder, giving their needs and desires. That’s fuckin’ hard I can’t even provide for myself. Me being a licensed professional Engineer, that doesn’t change anything –I’m still provided; my car, fraction of my gas; food. I still can’t stand without him.

My father even had to face the worse challenge; providing while being shown no love. We love him though. It could be just us deficient of the courage to show him. What’s harder than going home drunk, brain jam-packed with problems, expectant of love but gets nothing better than a sofa to sleep in? That’s a dead life. That’s going to get me bad side turned on.

He and my mom got emotionally detached more than a year ago. Before that, they were like kids who could not last a day without fighting. That I learned a mother and a wife are diverse roles and you can’t always be good in performing both at the same time. She’s a good mother that’s all I can say.

We got used to hating. We never noticed how the hell it got this worse. I stood by my side of being silent. I love them all and silence was the only best thing I knew..NOT, now. No one among us is blameless.

I knew my father went to clubs, got girls and all that. One thing I was proud of and made me tolerant was the fact that he always had different girls and never stayed at one bitch. Precisely, he’s safe from getting attached. I never saw this coming around, my father being serious and committed to having an extra-marital affair. That hurts. That troubles us. I was even once deprived of my car because ofthat  bitch, but that is not the more bothering thing. We don’t want to see him breaking down and losing everything he has worked for in all those working years.

I don’t know how I’m going to see this ending; it has started to eat us up. The devil even made me think of the thing I knew I was never going to do; I started formulating a plan of ending the bitch's life. No, I won’t let the devil defeat us. The devil wants this. All we have to do is pray. Do the right thing. Show my father extra love. Get into his conscience. And be brave enough to tell him stop all these shit pa. I wish it is this easy.

When you are almost to give up on things, that’s when God sends light. This morning I got a text from my brother;

“Gi sama na tayo outing bukas. Hayaan mo na yung fun run dami pa susunod dun. Para hindi magreynareynahan si Katy(bitch) dun”

“You’re not alone, you’re being allied, and I’m fighting with you” are things a person on the peak of giving up needs to hear.

This got me my faith back, stronger trust that everything will eventually be solved. I hope so. God does no sleeping.

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My 3rd RUN: 1st AMCHAM RUN FOR SCHOLAR

http://www.amchamfoundation.com/events/4-updates/32-thank-you-for-running-for-a-cause

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