Amazing Counters

Showing posts with label TOP TEN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TOP TEN. Show all posts

The Top Ten Things To Say If An Obviously Gay Guy Says: “Girl, I’m Straight!"

>> Thursday, February 4

Chico and Del's TOP TEN.. a way to start a good day :)
GOOD MORNING.
  1. Bobidax – “Ah…at ang email mo ay gay@indenial.com?”
  2. Bobidax – “Straight-in mong mukha mo!”
  3. Evilpupil – “Keribells lang yan, beki!”
  4. Loipogi – “Oo nga, straight ka…straight to hell!”
  5. Automatic Allan/Boknoi – “Derecho? Baka derecho sa gay bar!”
  6. Ken – “Straight-acting nga, hindi ka papasa…STRAIGHT pa?!?”
  7. SC – “Alam ba ‘to ng boyfriend mo?”
  8. Dru – “If that’s the case then maybe you should stop saying stuff like: ‘Parurusahan kita sa ngalan ng buwan!’”
  9. Babyburn – “Eh bakit ka nagle-leave tuwing araw ng Miss Universe?”
  10. Ken – “Talaga? May straight palang bottom?”
  11. Malditamanika – “Sige nga, kung straight ka, i-kiss mo ko sa lips.”
  12. Moncher – “Yeah, straight and stiff when a hunk walks by…”
  13. SC – “Ang tanong: mamayang gabi kaya, straight ka pa din?”
  14. Dominic of Pasig/Feb15 – “Straight? O straight guy ang hanap?”
  15. TwistedSaint – “Mommy, si Daddy o!”
  16. University Lad – “Bongga, best actress!”
  17. TReiz – “Sige friend, susuportahan kita…”
  18. Pharmacoid – “Sakalin kita ng scarf mo eh!”
  19. Bernadette – “Weh?”
  20. RC & Cess – “Trulalu at walang eklavu?”
  21. Hopeless Jec/Khitz_joma – “You go, girl!”
  22. SC – “Eh di magpakulot ka!”
  23. Dru – “Pag di ka tumigil, tatawag ako sa ABS-CBN at ire-report kita sa Bantay Bakla!”

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SPOILED BRAT

>> Saturday, January 30

The Top Signs That You’re A Spoiled Brat – Astroboy


  1. Morticia – My mom would carry me whenever there’s a flood in our area…even when I was in college already.
  2. Pretty_Kitty – While ordering, the cashier kept suggesting food I should get. I told her: “If I wanted them, then I’d order them.”
  3. Robjo – When my friend was younger, she’d draw a circle on the ground and tell her yaya: “Diyan ka lang, wag kang lalabassa circle!” Sad part was, the yayas would do it. That’s why they had new yayas every 2 months.
  4. Binbin – Everytime my mom would say no, I’d go to my dad and he’d say yes.
  5. Kesibi – When I was young I used to force our maid to eat cat food. I wanted to make sure it was safe to feed our cat.
  6. Morgan – I know a girl who drugged her boy barkada half her age to get herself pregnant.
  7. Louise – After my husband comes home tired after working all day, I ask him to massage my back…because it’s sore after lying down all day.
  8. Sherry25 – When my sister and I want something from our parents, we ask our brother to ask them. They always say no to us, but always say yes to him.
  9. No name – Whenever I scold my 6-year-old son, he tells me: “Sige, isusumbong kita sa tatay mo!”
  10. Cheezee – Whenever my friend fights with her mom, she maxes out her mom’s credit card.
  11. Edric – My friend is a flight attendant so she bought a house and left her son with her parents. Whenever her son gets mad, he tells his own grandparents: “Get out of my house!”
  12. Kurengkeng – When I’m irritable on a weekend, my husband would go: “Haaay…ang sarap mag-malling!” Then he’d bring me to my favorite boutique and insist I buy that blouse that I’d be eyeing even if we don’t really have a budget for it.
  13. Gracia – I know of a mom whose daughter doesn’t go to school, just because she doesn’t want to! Ironically, this mom is a DepEd official.
  14. Frederique – I know of a 48-year-old ex-military man who never flushes the toilet. Instead, his wife flushes after he’s done doing #1 or #2 wherever they are. We call him Flush Gordon.
  15. Jorik – I would bang the door, wet myself and cry for hours until my parents gave me what I wanted.
  16. Candies – If everytime you see someone laughing, you go: “Shut up, bitch.”
  17. Tipsy – We have an officemate we stopped going out with, because she would absentmindedly hand us her mineral water, bag, or wallet, as if we were her yayas.
  18. Dennis – My daughter asked for a mini-notebook because her brand new 13-inch laptop is “too heavy”.
  19. No name – I’ve been married to my husband for 25 years, but I never said “I’m sorry” to my husband, not even once, even if I’m at fault.
  20. Smiles_a_lot – I had a schoolmate who demanded her parents fly her whole class and all her friends to Boracay for her debut.
  21. Espeks – I grew up mapili sa pagkain. Whenever I’d visit my then girlfiend’s house, my future in-laws would ask me first if I’d eat what they were planning to cook. If not, they’d cook something else.
  22. Ais – My brother gets paid for every passing grade he got in school.
  23. Loipogi – Spoiled brat yung biyenan ng friend ko. Every 15th and 30th, she always visits their house & expects something from the couple.
  24. Siren – I never experience color-coding because everyone in the house adjusts to my schedule so that I’d always have a car to use.
  25. Mama Aphaj – We all live in the North, but everytime we have a get-together, we meet up somewhere in the South because of one spoiled barkada who lives in Alabang.
  26. Mama Aphaj – My dad is 55, I’m 37, working, married with 3 kids. But I still get an allowance from him.
  27. Maomao – I don’t want to admit that I’m a spoiled brat, but one time my mom told me: “Anak, wala ka na bang iuutos? Matutulog na kasi ko eh.”

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